And I

And I'm not cruel enough 
To look at hearts beat out of your chest.
Let us look at the holes in your knees -
Pop a bottle and 
Look at the birds and the bees 
On the internet.  Look at
How your mother or brother 
Or whoever it was with
MS is. 
I can't believe it
I'm sorry, my sympathy was never the best. 

My mother grows plants, 
Called them bleeding hearts, 
But I'm not cruel enough 
To drain a heart - 
Even though 
I know 
It's how we learn to fall apart.
She bought me a tea pot
And tea leaves 
And I miss her a lot; 
I can't believe it -
I've never drank her tea 
        When it was hot. 


See, I'm cruel enough to watch 
The pulse in your neck.
When mine cracks open
I imagine the lives it will save -
Look at the lives of the brave 
Women who gave me 
Pink razor blades.  
Do you remember the marches? 
The torches?
The cold crows that lie in
The long graves? 
I can't believe it -
I always thought 
Rights were inherent, not made. 

I'm sorry I'm not cruel enough 
The watch your heart beat out 
Of your chest. 
I'm not broken
I've sickness and crassness 
But I still sleep on an x axis. 
And people can't be broken. 
But they break. 
And our planet is at stake. 

I'm sorry for your brother, 
And my mother, 
And the illness on the page; 
But I can't bother 
Going farther 
Than my grave will 

Take me. 

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