Put Into Paper

My father died four months and four days before I was born.  This as been a constant in my life - a constant reminder of life and death; a constant pain; a constant ache; and a constant thought.  Many people have questioned my grief, but over the years I have learned to ignore it; the only one who can truly know the full of it, is me.  Every year I take father's day as a time to reflect.  This year I've written this.

I want to put you into paper
to keep you here, in this space -
Out of my brain
here to stay.

I want to postpone your ending –
            To glue you to pulp with pen
So memories remain
and still
Fragile and delicate
Like the signature on a will.

I want to put you into paper -
To ground you,
here on earth
Out of my mine,

written in time.


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