He’d want me to live,
To cross the world with my ideas
And to have the world change my mind.
He’d want me to fight this feeling inadequacy.
I’d be good enough for him.
I’m a birch in a forest of evergreens.
I’m a lone white daisy in a garden of eloquent perennials.
Nineteen years have passed;
I’ve only lived eighteen and a half of them.
If you can call what I was doing living.
If I was even really breathing.
I’m learning my differences.
I’m fearing my past.
I think if I want to find his pride,
I need to find my own.
I need to get off my ass,
I need to what I want.
I am better than this
And he knows it.