My deepest wish

My deepest wish has always been, and it always will
To see your smiling face look at me
I just wish that I could make you proud
I wish you could hear me sing
Watch me learn to succeed
That was always my dream
I just want to hear your voice
To have a conversation with you
I want to know your smell
I want you to hold me
It’s the simplest thing I know
I know it’s silly, but it’s true
My life has been this giant longing
My heart, it has this space
Like an empty seat beside me
On the bus going nowhere
My birthday wishes wasted
My father’s days spent waiting
For your smile
But it’s useless because you see
I don’t get to hear you speak
Or hear you say my name
Because mistakes took you way too soon
I don’t get to make you proud
You don’t get to tuck me in
I sometimes feel like I can’t love you
But no matter what my heart is yours
I sometimes feel like spending my days missing,
Are all in vain
But you will always be dear to me
My greatest wish, my only prayer


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